Real Life

I have a confession. I’m not good at balancing. Most days, I get completely overwhelmed by life and things that I SHOULD be doing. I look around my house and see this huge disaster zone and hang my head in shame. I used to beat myself up for all the things I should be doing. I SHOULD have a cleaner house. My kids SHOULD eat better. We SHOULD be outside more. My kids SHOULD play on their electronics less. SHOULD. I would get insanely upset and I would beat myself up for it day in and day out. And? It made me miserable.

I don’t remember when it happened but I started beating myself up less. The days would go by and I would do everything I could to play with the kids and make dinner and have a clean house. I would have my homework and workout done and I would feel amazing. The thing about it is, I just went through my day, doing things, ALL THE THINGS, and whatever got done, got done. Whatever didn’t…Oh well. It didn’t matter anymore. I went through my days being happy and that was all that mattered to me.

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My house is still a disaster. I still have bad days where I judge myself for everything I do. Some days, I’m a mess and there are days where I put the kids to bed and go cry because of the giant mess of a day it was. I’m not perfect. I yell too much and some days I put myself and the things I have to do first. There are days I open the back door and watch the kids running around while I’m up to my ears at our dining room table with homework. And other days I’m out running around with them.

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My point is…I’m not perfect, my life isn’t perfect and I used to have a big problem with this. I used to think that I wasn’t good enough and there are days I still feel this way. Ask my husband. I texted him yesterday saying I was failing at life yet, here I am today feeling the exact opposite. I stopped focusing on everything I SHOULD be doing. I stopped comparing myself to friends who seemed to have everything under control and started focusing on my life, on my family. Shocker…things got easier and I got happier.

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So today when you think you’re not good enough and believe that you’re failing at life just remember you’re not alone. My living room is a disaster, my floors need to be mopped and my laundry is out of control. Look at your kids and watch them smile at you and know they think you’re amazing. Remember that with all the bad, there is good. Focus on the good.

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One thought on “Real Life

  1. Lora Morton says:

    Don’t beat yourself up. As long as u take care of the kids u have your hands full. Once they r older you’ll have plenty of time to clean house and all those other things that won’t seem as important to u as having fun with the kids. But they will be gone and u will be glad u had the fun with them. Most of all, they will remember how much fun they had with you.

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