Struggling

You know how I told you we’re moving. Don’t worry…we are still moving. And I’m still really really excited. SO happy to be going back home. SO HAPPY.

But there are times I’m not. Times I struggle with the fact that I’m leaving one of my best friends.

There’s this huge downside to military life. You move. A lot. This will be our third PCS. Our third time picking up and moving. Granted we went from NC to GA and then back to NC but with moving so much, I don’t go out and search for friends, for a few reasons.

1. I know that inevitably I’m going to be moving again and leaving people who I care about because when I make friends…I keep those friends. My parents always told me that I’d be lucky to have a handful of close friends and I never believed them because in high school I had lots of “friends.” And of course, at the time, I thought those friends would be my friends for life. But they weren’t. They aren’t. Some I still keep in touch with and love hearing about their lives and when I visit home, I try my hardest to see them. Sometimes it doesn’t work out because of the length of our visits but I try. Now that I’m older and all wise and such I have realized how right my parents were when they said this.

2. I like to call myself socially awkward. I’m not completely socially awkward, just when I meet people for the first couple times. After that I’m good and we can start building said friendship (hopefully) and I can welcome someone else into my group of close friends. And what stinks is that recently, recently I’ve met some ladies that I would LOVE to get to know better. That I would LOVE to be great friends with but I’m moving.

3. And the last reason. I don’t trust easily. For lots of reasons, none of which I will be getting into. But I don’t trust easily.

So lately I’ve been struggling because not only are we leaving but my bestie here in NC is moving too. And I’m sad. I love her. I consider her part of my family and I would do anything for her and her family. Her son is amazing and her husband’s not too bad either 😉 In fact our husband’s have become pretty close over the years too. I hate that I have to leave her. I hate that I won’t be able to see her on the weekends. No more wine nights. No more girl time.

Lucas

Looking through my pictures, I have realized we don’t have any recent pics together so uh….we need to get on that.

I’ve been in a funk the past week. I thought it might be because of the stress of all that has to get done. And I know that the stress does have something to do with it. But guys. I’m struggling to leave her. To leave my friend. To only see her when we plan girls trips (which uh..will be a thing).

One of the biggest downsides to military life…leaving friends. Saying goodbye. And I’m not ready.

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2 thoughts on “Struggling

  1. Grammie says:

    I understand what u r talking about. When we moved to FL. I left alot of good friends. For a long time we went back often but as time goes by you drift away from some of them. Now alot of them we have had to go to many funerals which u realize is part of life. I still have a few friends which I cherish everyone. Enjoy yours while u have them.

  2. Aunt J says:

    I get this. I, too, make few close friends. Yes, I have lots of acquaintances, but that’s different. People have to earn my trust and loyalty. True friends are rare and we should all have to earn them. They will prove, over our lifetime, how fortunate we are to have them. They will be there for you, and you for them, no matter how far apart you live.

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