The Bird Story

A couple weeks back, I wrote a post that mentioned a mishap with a bird.

I am finally ready to tell that story. Yes, I was that traumatized by, what I’m calling, The Bird Story.

It all started on the first day of school. Little Miss got up in the morning and got all dressed up for her first day. She was stoked to be going back to school. Oh wait, no. I was stoked she was going back to school. Little Miss had no desire to go. But I got her in the car and off we went. Of course, on the first day, I walked her to class where we hugged and kissed and then parted ways.

I didn’t know what to expect once I got home, just me and the boys. I was able to get so much done and Little Man was awesome. There was no fighting, there was no yelling, and there was a lot of quiet. It was magical.

Then I went to pick up this beautiful little girl thinking what a wonderful afternoon it was going to be. It had been such a peaceful and quiet morning, the afternoon was sure to be the same.

But it wasn’t. Not even a little bit. And it was all because of a bird. A little teeny tiny bird.

You see, at this point in time, the tent was still up in our backyard. And when Little Miss got home from school she wanted to go outside with her brother. Fine by me. I’m all for some outside time. So off they went. Then I heard the door open. Then I head this from Little Miss.

“Mom, I caught a bird!”

Mind you this came from the girl who’s terrified to catch anything. I was shocked at the frog and now she’s off catching flippin birds. What’s gotten into my girl who wouldn’t go near a butterfly?

Naturally, I have to make sure I heard correctly. “You caught a what?”

“A bird Mommy. Look.”

Lo and  behold Little Miss was indeed holding onto a bird. And the bird was very very very close to my face. And I was very uncomfortable. And then came these words…

“CAN WE KEEP IT? Please Momma?”

“Um, No. This bird needs to be a free bird. This bird wants to be outside and live where he can fly wherever he may want to. And this bird…needs to get away from my face.”

Insert big, loud sigh, “OK Mom. I’ll let it go.”

Now the events that happened next are a little blurry. First I hear the door open, then I hear my daughter say, “Go ahead birdy, fly away.” And then I hear, “Uh oh. I think the bird is still in the house.”

To which I respond oh so calmly, “Um…Say what?”

“I let the bird go but it didn’t fly away. It stayed in the house.”

So I looked for a little bird in my house thinking that perhaps, just maybe, it flew away and she didn’t see it. I would have put money on that. Until about 10 minutes later when I went into the kitchen and looked over to see a little, teeny, tiny bird sitting there…staring at me. From that point on, chaos broke out in my house.There was tons of screaming ((only by me) and frantic people (OK the kids were laughing and I was frantic) trying to catch this dang bird. And then it flew toward my stairs and I just remember screaming, “Please birdy, don’t go up my stairs. Pretty, pretty please.” Because you know, a bird could understand me screaming at it to not go up my stairs.

Luckily, the teeny, tiny, bird stayed downstairs where Little Miss caught him and he was finally let go, OUTSIDE, where he will live out the rest of his beautiful, wonderful, life.

Little Miss occasionally will ask about the bird or she’ll remind me how I was screaming and how she caught the bird or she’ll ask if she can go catch a different bird to keep. She, of course, gets sad when I say that there will be no bird in my house. Don’t get me wrong, I like birds and all. In the outside world where they’re supposed to be. Not in my house, flapping their crazy wings 8 million miles per minute at me. So no, we will not be getting a bird anytime soon. A penguin I will gladly do. A horse, cats, dolphins, a giraffe perhaps, and Mr. Chaos has even mentioned a wombat, which I would do. But a bird…no. I will not, will not, buy a bird.

And that my friends, is the bird story.

 

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