Bad Splinter

Little Miss is a tad bit dramatic. Sometimes when she gets in trouble she starts making up weird stories. The other day I picked her up from school and she was upset because I didn’t put her seat belt on and instead made her do it. I know I’m a horrible person. She got pretty upset and started in on me.

“I know what you’re thinking Mom.”

“Oh and what’s that?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Just tell me. I would like to know what I’m thinking.” (this “I can’t tell you conversation” lasted about 5 minutes)

“You’re thinking of putting a skeleton in my room because you know I don’t like them and your still mad that I wouldn’t put on my seat belt.” (said while crying)

“Hunny. I’m not thinking that at all.”

“Fine. Then your thinking about putting a zombie in my room. Please don’t put a zombie in my room. Just a friendly ghost. I’m sorry I didn’t put on my seat belt right away. But I really don’t want a zombie in my room.”

“Uh…OK. I won’t put a zombie in your room”

And no I was never planning on putting a zombie or skeleton or ghost in her room and have no idea where she got that idea. The point is that she’s a bit dramatic. Which is what made the following situation slightly funny.

Little Miss got her first splinter and boy was it an ordeal to have her let us take it out of her little finger.

“Baby please let us take out the splinter in your finger.”

“NO….it will hurt.”

“OK well let us at least look at it.”

“NO…it will hurt.”

“It will actually hurt more if you leave it in your finger. Please let us see it.”

“Yup. That’s a splinter. Now we have to get it out.”

This was the fun part. And I have to say, Mr. Chaos kept his composure on this one while I did not. We went around with Little Miss for what had to be an eternity on why it needed to come out and that we didn’t want an infection in her finger. Little Miss was just fine with an infection. My plan to get it out…hold her down and rip it out. Again…Mr. Chaos kept his composure on this one much better than I did.

” Little Miss. You have to trust your daddy on this one. I won’t hurt you and it won’t hurt when I pull it out of your finger. You have to trust me.”

“No daddy. I know it will hurt. Because my name is Little Miss and I know everything. I’m the smartest person in the world.”

OK sorry. She may not have said that. But I have a hunch that she was thinking it. She did, however protest to her daddy taking it out of her finger. So, while they were having their debate on taking the splinter out, I was thinking that I was just going to dive at her, grab her finger, and rip it out. After thinking it over, while they were still discussing, I decided that may not be the best idea. Again, Mr. Chaos wins major points for his composure on this incident.

You’ll be happy to know, after about 25+ minutes of discussing and bribing and crying and momma getting frustrated with it all, Little Miss did let her daddy take out the splinter.

And no, it didn’t hurt (she told me so herself), not one bit.

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